As we are heading into summer break for our children, I thought I’d share some of the summer survival skills that I’ve been sharing for the past 12 years. (I’ll also share a link at the bottom for some play-sheets in case you’d like to just print and play with these.) Every year at the beginning of summer break, I sit down with my son and we have a brainstorming session around needs, wants, expectations, activities, etc. so that we are all on the same page. This is something that could be done at a coffee shop, a favorite restaurant or eating a cool treat to make it more fun.
This doesn’t have to be anything fancy or take a long time to do AND what I have experienced time and again personally, and from my clients, is that this little bit of time spent “mapping” and “tracking” makes things flow so much easier and reduces battles around expectations that were not made known.
Mapping
Mapping skills help people to get their bearing in order to know where they are going and using mapping skills as a parent has been incredibly helpful. I get my bearings by mapping out-
my needs and the needs of my family and home (errands, chores, work time, time to myself)
my wants and the wants of my family (outings, time for relaxation, fun, enrichment, etc.)
what I know about myself - my personality, my natural energy flow during the day,
what I know about my child - their personality, their natural energy flow during the day
Mapping out the day, week or even month, can help you to meet the needs and wants from above. Creating structure in the form of making a loose schedule for yourself and your kids actually helps to create time for the unstructured. Having this structure is beneficial for all kids who in my experience tend to like to know where they are going and a general sense of what they are going to be doing. It can be as basic or as detailed as you and/or your children need.
Don’t forget rest or quiet time! The one thing most parents feel is exhausted. I also know even having a small amount of time to oneself can help recharge your energy reserve so include this in your daily routine or schedule. It’s not nap time, kids don’t have to nap, you don’t have to nap, it’s just an opportunity for everyone to go to their rooms or find a space and do something quietly. You can have them, or help them, create bins or a box of things they can do during rest time - books, blocks, anything they can do independently. If YOU want, this could be a time for electronics. I know that I’ve allowed this because I really needed 30 minutes to myself or my patience was going to be non-existent! Start small if necessary. If you haven’t been giving yourself time, even five minutes to sit and do nothing can do wonders!!
If your older child balks at this and complains of being bored, let them be bored. Boredom is what ignites the curious brain. (This might bring up thoughts for you as they whine or complain or tell you all sorts of things. If you need coaching around this, let me know!!)
Tracking Tracking allows you to build your awareness and noticing skills. For me, tracking as a parent is useful for all sorts of situations - the good and the ones that suck. I utilize these three questions all of the time:
What’s working?
What’s not working?
What is one thing I can try different to get closer to what I want?
You are doing a million things every day that tell you what works for you and your family. Start noticing those things! They can help you to figure out what to do with those situations that aren’t working. Become an observer and check in with yourself periodically or when you are at your wit’s end to ask yourself these questions.
I encourage you to play with these and see if they bring greater ease and joy to your life this summer.