I am a big fan of metaphors when it comes to doing this parenting thing and there is one that has been coming up in many of my coaching sessions lately - driving a car. 
So many times we feel pressure, even if it is coming from ourselves, to have our children make progress. Sometimes they are developmentally ready for us to slowly step on the gas pedal and increase expectations or asks. Other times they are at their limit and we need to step on the brake with regard to those expectations and asks. 
There are also times when it is more like driving a stick shift vehicle and allowing them to stay in a certain gear for a while even when you’d like for them to go to the next gear. Or encouraging them to try out the next gear and see what happens knowing that you can always downshift. It also includes recognizing when the demands are too much for them in the current gear and you need to temporarily downshift in order for them get back to baseline where they feel like things are doable and manageable. 
As a parent, I can find myself in a certain gear with my son and things are going okay and feel comfortable but if I step back, I might notice that he’s ready for a little more and that is when slowly stepping on the gas is what he needs to see where he is developmentally with different skills. It absolutely pushes me out of my comfort zone maybe as much as it pushes him out of his but proceeding slowly and intentionally while also having my foot near the brake, knowing I can slow things down if needed, have helped me to learn all sorts of things that he was able to do with support. 
I’ve also had times when I felt the pressure coming from others to have him do things I knew in my gut that he wasn’t ready for but responded to that pressure anyway only to get feedback from him that he wasn’t having any of it. I had moved us to a gear he wasn’t ready for and when I allowed myself to get curious about who he was in that moment and what I felt he was ready for, we were humming along once again at a speed that felt okay. 
I encourage you to play with this metaphor in your own lives, tapping into curiosity around situations, skills, etc., that you might notice need a little more gas, an easing of the brake or allowing yourselves to find the gear that is right for right now, knowing you can always shift up or down. 
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